I heard a story today, through my counselor, about the honest true beauty and light the babies have. I was reluctant to agree with her in regards to children being divine light, because they’re just born into our world not having lost that “light” yet. I told her I don’t like children, and tend to steer clear of babies. This is the story she told me is as follows.
“I have a therapist friend who has a three year old son. The family just had another child, a newborn, added to the family equation. Just recently the three year old asked his parents if he could go have a “talk” with the baby brother. The parents nodded, and said alright; they had baby monitors on, and were able to listen to the conversation to make sure nothing was going wrong. The three year old went into the babies room, leaned over the bassinet crib they had, and said, “Brother, tell me about God because I am forgetting him already.”
This story made me cry. I am unsure why it made me cry; the realization that children are light. The realization that I cannot connect to that light, or recognize it if it’s shining brightly in my face like an annoying LED flashlight. If children really are light, how come I can’t remember it either?
I talked to my husband about this tonight, told him about not liking children, not being able to stand being around a baby. He said fear. I’m afraid to recognize and relate to that part of me again. To understand that I am more than I believe.
I also found out that my son, so wise and so old soul beyond his 14 years, sees this in me too. He said to my husband that he knows I love him, I knows I say it and think it from my head. . . but, I don’t “feel” it from my heart. This is very true. I was asked today in counseling have I ever “felt” love, and if so where do I feel it. The only time in my life that I can recall “Feeling” emotion and love in my body, was with my grandfather.
Lesson in life today, reconnect with my soul self, my divine life.
I am thankful today, for the lessons even my son has to teach me.