Beauty · Buddha · Gratitude · Happiness · Health · My Life · Self Esteem · Spirit

I have chosen my disease..

Damn… wrote a whole blog, went to paste it and my computer shut down. Sigh. Will be back to edit this after work.

The gist of this long post, so easily lost by the strike of one “shut down” button my keyboard, was the following:

I have finally admitted to the flaws my spirit and body present. I finally made the decision to go to counseling. Just when I felt everything was running smoothly, getting into the swing of working with those negative attributes I hold, something always happens to divert my attention elsewhere. I was talking to my counselor about how frustrated I am that my physical self began to break down almost immediately after I started feeling better about some of the more dramatic aspects of my childhood. It’s like my body is rebelling against the rest of my healing and growth processes.

In the discussion she informed me that I had chosen this disease. … This was me:  {0.o}  .. “Come again?” Everything is connected, and everything has a meaning. The area physically effected right now is my immune system. She pulled out a book and looked up Immunity Diseases, and their metaphysical /Chara meaning behind their ailments:

“I am now totally centered in the love and joy of being alive. I flow with life. Peace of mind is mine.”

Holy Hell, how rather fitting. My journal entry at home the night before said basically said this simplified version, only written out very lengthily.

I am totally centered in the love and joy of being alive. I am here, dammit. No more fighting to defend my existence on earth.

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