Compassion · Happiness · Health · My Life · Negative People · Self Esteem · Suicide

Cold Calloused Self…

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One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. – Sophocles

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth — and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up — that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.  – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Call me callous, call me cold-hearted, or call me calculated… none of which is going to offend me right now. I just can’t muster up the sympathy for someone who can’t muster up enough for themselves. I am angry and cold towards people who opt to think that suicide is the only answer. It’s selfish. If they care so little about themselves, what makes them think that we’re going to feel just as sorry for them? I just can’t do it.

I know, that in my heart of hearts, I am “supposed” to be unconditionally caring right now. I know that I am supposed to provide the support that they’re missing, but for some reason I hit an emotional block in regards to it. I am literally at a loss on how to support them.  I know that “love” is supposed to be the miracle cure to everything emotional…. sometimes when you care too much, you push the other person away. This, I have learned a lot lately.

Life is precious, damn it. Life is a gift. It’s our job as humans to accept this gift, unwrapped, and learn to live with it through thick and thin. It’s a copt out to say, “Fuck it all, suicide’s the answer.” And for God’s sake, stop turning your nose up at the gift. You’ve lived a life of “I don’t give a damn…” and now that it’s starting to show, you’re looking for an easy way out. Toughen up already, pull up your big kid pants and work through it. This is what the rest of us do on a daily basis. Life isn’t perfect, life isn’t a breeze. If it were, we’d be robots.

As you can see I’m a little bit angry and bitter right now; which is ok. It’s not the emotion that damages a person, it’s the actions as a result of the emotions. I come here to blog it out, instead of verbalizing it and hurting those it’s directed towards. I just wish you’d care about yourself half as much as the rest of us do.

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2 thoughts on “Cold Calloused Self…

  1. Mental illness is a cruel disease but it is also not your responsiblity to carry this persons weight of the world on your shoulders. The best you can do is make space for youreself. If you – don’t it will leave you feeling bitter and resentful. If this person is unwilling to get the professional help needed to than you need to make the decision to separate them from your life.

  2. One of my uncles committed suicide when I was 5 yrs. old. To this day, I can remember my parents getting the phone call and the pain they went through afterward.

    Suicide is one of the most selfish things anyone can do. There is always a way through the pain, sometimes it takes a long time, and is hard work, but the result is that you get to actually live. Suicide takes away any and all other options.

    I agree that mental illness is a serious thing, and that it can’t always be fought alone. Sometimes the “ill” person needs outside help. But, if they don’t at least attempt to help themselves as well, no one else is going to make any difference.
    I told a friend not long ago “You have to work for change, or the change won’t work.” Everything worth having, is worth fighting for. And if this other person won’t even attempt to help themselves, there’s nothing you or anyone else can do. They need professional intervention.

    And love is not always a “cure all”. Sometimes, love is just not enough. Sometimes, it takes professional detachment to be able to see the problem without the love-colored glasses.

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