This mindset is seriously the reason American’s thinking towards love and compassion are so totally screwed up.
To be a “hero” to a child has nothing to do with monetary or materialistic gains; trust me I know. As a child survivor of abuse, I can tell you the only hero I wanted to see was someone who was there for me. I needed love, compassion, comfort, and nurturing. Smothering a child with items from your local conglomerate store, bought during the holiday season, and blinding them by shiney and bling does not help them learn love. I mean, really love. It teaches them the love of inanimate objects.
No wonder kids today are so self absorbed, self concerning, and out of control!!
Here are some positive ways to be a hero to a child:
· Talk with him. Make a list of all the conversations you’ve had today with your child. Now, mark out any conversations where you lectured him, or instructed him. Do you have any left? Make time to talk with your child today without strings attached.
· Listen to her. Have you ever tried to tell someone about something, only to realize the person isn’t listening? How often does your child begin telling you something and you “tune out” as you mentally move on to the other things you have to do today? Kids can be pretty talkative so we probably can’t really listen to everything – but we can make sure that we totally tune into at least one conversation a day. Who knows – you may learn something.
· Write him a note. Do you enjoy getting notes from the people you love? So does your kid. Write him a note today and tuck it into his backpack – or better still, mail it to him and tuck in a sheet of stickers or a homemade coupon redeemable for something he has been wanting. Kids love to get mail and that little bit you invested in the stamp will be worth a lot to him.
· Play with her. Don’t waste travel time to school, sports practice or any of the many other places you dash to everyday. You can slip in a word game with your kids and make the drive time fun for both of you – not to mention saving you from car fights between bored siblings.
· Hug him. After our kids outgrow the baby stage, many do not get the physical affection they would like. Studies have proven that humans need physical affection to thrive – so take a minute and hug your kid – you’ll both feel better.
· Read to her – or with her. Reading together offers a shared adventure that television just cannot compare with. Studies have shown that children who are read to tend to do better in school. For older children, take turns reading longer stories and take time to discuss what you read.
· Brag about him. Although it is important to be supportive when you talk to your child, it is even more important to be supportive when you talk about him. When you talk about your child, be certain that you emphasize the positives – especially when the child can overhear what you say.
· Do something unusual with her. Kids love surprises, so don’t wait for a special occasion before having an outing together. Many times, your child’s fondest memories will be of those spontaneous family times.
· Include him in decisions. It’s important that your child feel he is in control of many of his personal choices such as clothing, food, etc. but your child will feel even closer to the family if he is allowed a part of whole family decisions such as vacations, or weekend fun.
· Ask her for advice. Do you remember how it felt when someone you admired asked you for advice? It’s like a promotion. Many times your child can offer excellent honest advice on things for you like what choosing between outfits
Ways NOT to be a hero:
· Use material items to fill a void. Using material items to gain love. Using material items to “shut” your child up.
· Use food as an award, comfort, or similar
· Avoid, tune out, or
· Lack of physical contact, love, hugging, cuddling, or soothing a wound