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Stupid People Everywhere!!

Our commute this morning was a bit hectic, with the ice covered ground and all. I am aware that you are driving a truck fit for a spoiled teenage boy, decked out, lowered, shiny red, etc. However, because you failed to weigh down your empty bed, you slid like player sliding into first. I can appreciate (more than you can fathom) your need to get coffee, especially when you have a 4:15 a.m. commute like I do. However, and this is a BIG HOWEVER, it is NOT OK to slam on your brakes, throw your vehicle in reverse just so you can make the entrance of said coffee shop. You caused me to slam on my brakes as well. You almost wrecked my soul, which is a new by the way, and I would not have been a happy camper. It’s a good thing I’m an aware driver, I leave a cushion between me and the cars ahead of me, and I’m hyper sensitive to inept assholes like you.

I can sympathize with your age, and understand that the attention you get from half naked girls at the coffee stand is the best you’ve received in years, but I hate to break it do you, they’re really not that into you… they’re only nice for a tip (and we’re not talking about the fleshy tips that are more prevalent in cold icy weather such as today). Please plan out your commute better when you see ice on the roads, also, memorize the entrance way to your naked caffeine slingers. This is to alleviate any possible jackass move that may cause an accident.

Thank you,
Irritated Seattle Commuter.

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