I found a blog prompt this morning and I thought I would use it to write today’s blog. The prompt simply said, “The look in his eyes pierced her soul…” Here’s my addition as follows:
The look in his eyes pierced her soul; a look that needed no words to support it. She hung her head knowing everything he was feeling in this moment will scar his soul for the rest of his life. She felt her body go limp and her hands start to shake.
It only took a moment for her to turn into everything she spent her life striving not to be. It took three words to shatter his precious little soul, just three words. She stood there, arms limp at her side and her head still hung resting against her chest.
All she kept thinking was that there was no way to retract what was spoken, no way to recover from that. She felt the warmth as the tears started to fall, she licked the side of her mouth as on rolled down towards the corner. She took in the salted tear on her tongue, she took it as punishment. She knew how her child, standing so innocently in front of her, was feeling. Just three words, three words she is all to familiar with. She had heard it time and again as a child herself.
“It’s ok mommy, I still wuv yewe” he said quietly to her, so quietly she was sure his bantam voice was going to implode her world. Her legs gave out beneath her causing her to crumple listlessly to the floor beneath her. Her mind repeated the three words, the scene, over and over again.
Her child walked over to her fearlessly, arm stretched out. He came over to her limp body, sat himself upon her lap and wiped the tears from her face. “I wluv mommy.” She felt shame. She felt horrible for making him hear those words. She felt disconnected for making him endear all she felt in her childhood. She hated herself more and more each time he wiped a tear. “I know yewe deent mean to say “I hate you.”
He said those three words. He heard her say them to him.
He threw his arms around her neck, and put his head on her chest; reluctantly she reciprocated. She was more unsure now than she ever had been in her life. He needn’t say anything, she could feel the scar she ripped into his innocence. “I am so sorry. I am so sorry.” was all she could mutter in return.
It’s amazing the resilience of a child. It’s phenomenal the pure light and love they have. In three words it took her a moment to make a dent in the bond she had with her child. In three words in return, he was able to begin repair of that dented bond. Choosing how to express yourself is so very important, especially between a parent and child.