As I go back and revisit aspects of my Life Wheel, I realized that a lot of updates are going to me needed as I grow and change. One of the major aspects of my life wheel that’s changed, and still changing, is my Romance. As my readers know I am separated and in the midst of a divorce. When I had written my original Life Wheel entry my focus was radically different; especially in part two!
I had originally written, “I know that touching, kissing, cuddling, hand holding are all aspects of being romantic with your partner. I have grown uncomfortable as I’ve gotten older with many listed above. I don’t know why it’s become such an unwanted thing. I don’t like kissing, but I used to. I used to like curling up, bodies close, and kissing. Now, just the mere thought kind of makes my stomach curdle. The only thing I can think of is because of my use of sex in place of love or romance. Now, it’s almost like I’m testing myself.” I realize that I do in fact know how to cuddle and be romantic, he just wasn’t my type. I tried to pretend for as long as I could that I could make it work.
So, my Romance Addendum is this:
I need to be thought of, needed, adored.
I’m looking for a deeper connection and emotional intimacy.
I need to kiss, hold hands, lay my head on his shoulder.
I need his hand on the small of my back, arm around me in the car, hand on my knee while driving.
I need to be pulled close to him while standing in line to buy tickets at the theater; you know subtle gestures that lets me know we are together.
I need to be kissed for no reason, seduced because he finds me damn sexy. I need someone who is assertive enough to show me how bad he wants me.