“I don’t believe that the public knows what it wants; this is the conclusion that I have drawn from my career.” Charlie Chaplin
I am sitting here at my desk, it’s lunch time, and I’m taking a break from my job at hand: video game testing. I have been struggling the last two weeks at this very job. It’s been a frustrating two weeks at best.
At first I wasn’t meeting standards on feedback. Then, I wasn’t meeting standards on leveling. Now, I have to define each day, from now until this coming Friday, WHY I want to continue with the game play, and why he should keep me on as a game tester. I am so burned out on trying to convince him, I don’t know what to do anymore. I trust my gut, always have, and it’s telling me that come Friday, I’m sans a job.
What’s more frustrating, I JUST GOT MY STUDIO! No roommates, no worries, no soon to be ex husband. My own sanctuary to figure out who I am, and where I’m going. One of the major things my boss keeps asking me is to decide if this is the right job for me, if this is what I really want to be doing. Honestly, no.. I don’t think is what I want to be doing. I want to proceed more with some of the other departmental duties that were given to me. I love that part of the job. However, since I’ve been in question over the game testing side of things, I’ve had those extra responsibilities removed from me. Talk about adding insult to injury.
What DO I want to do with my life? Fuck if I know. Be stable. Be happy. Be content. Stay in a job longer than four months, a year, two years. * sigh *
Publish a book finally.
Get my photography up and going.
Work with my hands and mind more.