Employment · Hope · Journey · Lay off · Positivity · Self Esteem · Spirit · Unemployed · Working

Stress n’ Stuff

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The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Buddha.

I am now moving into my second week of being unemployed, again. I am stressing. I’ve filed my claim with unemployment, but no avail. I haven’t heard from them at all. When I log in to my account to input my weekly claim, I don’t get that option. Of all things, my bills are piling up, and I am worrying myself sick. So sick in fact I’ve taken up smoking again.

–> I know… the irony .. <— I lose my job and take up one of the most expensive habits ever.

I am mainly worried about losing my studio though. I anticipate all kinds of trouble. Smoking is a nasty, horrible, icky, smelly habit. I hate smokers. In a sense, it is another way for me to be angry, and thus, hating myself. I need a healthier habit to release stress. I will say, however, that I am not depressed. In all other aspects of my life, things are going well. I miss my son, I miss my pug… but the rest is kind of finally falling into place. I just don’t understand why the Universe, or fate, or my life path cannot just allow me to just have one day, week, month, year without a new struggle to test me with?

I need a job; I really miss the game testing.

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