After going out last night and “living” a little without fear of ridicule or belittlement, I woke up today angry. ANGRY of what has taken place over the last two years. ANGRY at myself for allowing it. ANGRY at him for causing it. ANGRY at my past for enabling it. ANGRY at my predisposition.
:: stamps feet :: blows steam ::
Now, in the natural healing that takes place in humans, anger is just a step. Unfortunately, for most of my life, I get stuck on the “anger” step. This will truly be a lesson in how to learn and grow. I refuse to get stuck on the angry hurt like I have my whole life.
I am not angry where I’m lashing out and need to calm down. I just have this internal burn. I am reading, A LOT. Especially the workbook and handouts from domestic violence group. I have like 7 books I’m reading. I need to learn to properly release and let go. Not to dwell on it. Not to hold that shit in…. for DECADES.
Guidance and suggestions encouraged.