Beauty, Belief, Blessings, Changes, Changing, Counseling, Depression, Forgiveness, Friends, Friendship, Gratitude, Happiness, Healing

. I walk alone .

loner_by_ambar89-d3ei5l8

 

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I had a chance to reconnect with someone from high school. Our paths crossed, but never connected. We were from different ends of the clique universe. She was a cheerleader and apart of the “in” crowd. I was from the group that got picked on by the in crowd. She, however, was never one to bully or cause problems. She was kind of quiet, from what I remember.

It’s now 21 years later and we’re adults. I posted on Craigslist for the need of strong female friends, purely platonic. I had a few answer, and one happened to be this woman from high school. At the time I did not know it. It wasn’t until we connected through facebook that it dawned on me.

We had a chance to meet up in person on Friday evening. We sat and talked for about an hour, just catching up. I asked her why our peers were relentless towards me. She could only answer for herself, “I thought you were just a loner.”

I’ve been thinking about this so much since Friday night. I wonder now how many perceived me as a loner? I was totally alone, and felt it. I was awkward and didn’t know how to connect to people. My mom says I was really unapproachable. I believe it’s heavily filtered over into my adult life. I still am a loner, and really dislike it. I’m an introvert but I believe it’s more for habit than actuality. I’d love to be able to go out and about without worrying about the crowds.

Is it possible to be one way because of habit, and not influenced by true self?

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1 thought on “. I walk alone .”

  1. Wow your post really moved my heart, I wish you would not accept labels. For some reason I never like to accept labels that people try to put upon me, because they really don’t know me, I feel I am vast, whole and beautiful inside. It’s really other peoples misfortune if they do not take the time to get to know the real me and who I am. because I feel they are missing out on something wonderful. Also another point i want to bring out is having too many people in your life bring problems and drama big time. So I like to keep it simple and keep things moving. Just like my funny niece likes to tell me “she likes herself and that’s all that’s required in life” So thanks for sharing such a beautiful post and sharing your deep thoughts.

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