Beauty, Compassion, Gratitude, Happiness, Hope, My Life, Self Esteem, Spirit

. Reflecting Back .

“Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.” ~Steven PressfieldThe above image is a screenshot of a post I made on this day, 2013. The above image was a reminder note to myself stating, “These are the things that you need to focus on.” It was also written in the most terrifying and tumultuous relationship and time of my life. All I could do to harness some kind of normality was write myself reminders of what I wanted out of life. I was trying to believe fully the idea of what we want, put energy into it to assist it into fruition. The biggest lesson I learned, is that before any of this was able to move into attainable reality, I needed to put the energy into believing in myself.

As you can read, the list is fairly simple. When it popped up in my facebook feed, I actually became overwhelmed with happiness. 
* I want a house.
* I want to rescue pugs.
* I want a job, with insurance, that I love.
* I want to be surrounded by amazing people I get to call friends. 
* A mate who accepts me for me.
* A decent car.

Where am I at now, four years later? 
* I just moved into a studio, in a rural area that’s not even 5 minutes away from stores, food, entertainment. It’s serene, beautiful, and mine. This is the first time ever in my life that I’ve really lived alone. No man, no kids, no roommates. It’s all on me. To quote Alanis, “I, recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah..”
* I have two amazing pugs.
* I have the best job with the awesomest coworkers ever. . . oh, and there’s insurance to boot. But this isn’t the best part. The best part is that it’s social services, so I’m assisting with others in bettering the lives of families who struggle. Can I get a HELL YEAH?
* My friends, are my foundation. I am so completely blessed with those who are … my kin.
* I have, after leaving my abusive ex 1.21.2014, slowly reentered the dating realm. I’ve had some ups, and some downs, but I never sacrificed who I am for red flags I acknowledged. In that, I’ve found a guy who’s kind of my match as well as my opposite. We truly are yin and yang.
* My car… well… my car is undetermined at the moment.


But 5 outta 6 ain’t too shabby. 


I am feeling so zen. I am feeling grateful. I am feeling a little scared, but I got this. 



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