Body Positive · Changes · Changing · Consumerism · Greed · Health · Hope · Negative People · Outrage · Politics · Positivity · Self Acceptance · Self Esteem · Self Love · Suicide · Youth

. Content of Your Soul .

I watched the video/commercial. I am stating my opinion, which may be biased as a woman, but here we go. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this commercial.
 
If anything, I find it empowering, for BOTH men and women.
 
If anything, I find it validating, for BOTH men and women.
 
If you’re a man who is finding issue with a commercial or company promoting respect, then the issue is not with the content of the commercial, but the content of your soul.

We are in the midst of an awakening within our society. People, men and women alike,  are beginning to hold each other accountable for unacceptable behaviors.

Women no longer need to remain tight lipped with grace over inappropriate behaviors, comments, or actions towards them or their bodies.

Women no longer need to, “smile and giggle” when there’s an unwanted ass grab. 

Women no longer need to accept unsolicited dick pics in private message while active on social media.

Men no longer need to remain “tough” and carry the persona of “strength” when bullied, belittled, or mocked for showing emotion.

Men no longer have to hide their “less than masculine” hobbies or interests. I have male friends who find that over the last 10-20 years, aspects of their “male persona” have changed. “I used to be uncomfortable with my wife’s purse in our cart. Now, I just don’t care.”

Men are even allowed to show support in one another without it looking, “Gay”.

If toxic masculinity is, as Piers Morgan says, “… pathetic global assault on masculinity,” then why is it even a hot topic? What I am finding is that men who are offended, protesting, and boycotting like Piers Morgan, are avoiding the question of whether or not they’re actually guilty of these very behaviors.” (compiled with the fact that a lot of them I’m reading on social media haven’t actually WATCHED the video). Don’t come at me with your defensiveness if you haven’t fully educated yourself on the topic at hand.

Just to be clear, Gillette’s ad does not implicate all men as those who act in this manner. This ad promotes that all men should hold each other accountable by calling out the behaviors.

This is not attacking “all” men for this behavior, it’s attacking the behavior itself. If those seeing this as an attack on “all men’s” masculinity, then it’s not the commercial with the issue, it’s your perception of masculinity that is.

“The gender doth protest too much,  me thinks. “

Maybe it’s time to actually discuss and define, “Toxic Masculinity”? What I have found researching the new coined term, “…a manifestation of Patriarchy that both harms men, and causes men to be violent and aggressive against women and occasionally other men.”

Personally, for me, it is when we even need to call out “boys will be boys” mentality. It’s when we tell girls that, “…it means he likes you if he pulls your hair”, as opposed to teaching our sons that pulling hair is not way to express your crush on a person.

Or, the doxxing of female game programers, artists, geeks, nerds, cosplayers, and activists who fight against the men who feel women have no place in the gaming cyber geek world.

Women, such as Brianna Wu, had all of their personal information released online opening avenues of abuse from men worldwide. “One tweet said, “I’ve got a K-bar and I’m coming to your house so I can shove it up your ugly feminist cunt.”

If you do not see an issue with this, then the problem isn’t Gillette, again, it’s you and your belief systems.

Another example of abuse because of gender and nationality, Kelly Marie tran. Who had this to say when she penned a beautiful statement as to why she’s leaving social media. She was mocked and harassed for everything from gender to weight, from role to ethnicity. The attackers took open hunt on her instagram and even her woookiepedia page.

Their words seemed to confirm what growing up as a woman and a person of color already taught me: that I belonged in margins and spaces, valid only as a minor character in their lives and stories,” Tran wrote. “Their words reinforced a narrative I had heard my whole life: that I was “other,” that I didn’t belong, that I wasn’t good enough, simply because I wasn’t like them. And that feeling, I realize now, was, and is, shame, a shame for the things that made me different, a shame for the culture from which I came from. And to me, the most disappointing thing was that I felt it at all.”

Or, how schools push and shame their preteen to teen girls about their clothing, as opposed to teaching boys to respect women and their bodies, and then punish them for wearing shorts and tank tops in 102 degree weather.

Our daughters are raised with vile, sexually charged advertising in EVERYTHING, but then shamed if they immulate the very examples they’re taught. Toxic masculinity is defending and promoting advertisers like Abercrombie & Fitch or Carl’s Jr, who make a point of objectifying women, and encouraging the behaviors behind it. There’s even a study that shows men and women (BOTH) are affected mentally by these types of advertisers. (Sited Resource) This study has found that sexualized advertisements could have a negative effect on men as well as women .

Final example of toxic masculinity, in my eyes, are the sheer number of sexual violence and assaults that do not get reported. Why? Because women aren’t taken serious when they say they are victims.

Do you know how many rape kits have sat unopened, unexamined, untested? In my state, Washington State, according to a 2018 statewide inventory conducted by the Attorney General’s Office, 6,460 backlogged. If that’s just one state, imagine the numbers for our whole nation. It doesn’t help when certain celebrities promote these ideals

If toxic masculinity isn’t a thing, there wouldn’t be NUMEROUS social media pages dedicated to showing that women are property/meat, and men deserve all of it no questions asked….
Because, as Piers Morgan says, “Let boys be damn boys. Let men be damn men. Sexually harasses coanchor.

More sources:
Women Women Refuse

#MeToo

Addressing Gender-Based Harassment in Social Media: A Call to Action
Rachel N. Simons, The University of Texas at Austin

End the Backlog – Accountability Project by Joyful Heart Foundation

Justice and Research Statistics Association

#Gillette #MeToo #Empowerment #Toxicmasculinity
Changing · Consumerism · Gratitude · Greed · Happiness · My Life · Spirit

. Less is More .

So, there I was, standing at the sink doing dishes… so many dishes for just two people; my housemate and I. The sheer amount of flatware to wash, ugh! Anyone who truly knows me, knows that dishes are not the chore of choice. But there I was, swipe, wipe, rinse, repeating and staring off into the nether realm. It was in that moment that I fully understood the meaning of, “less is more.”

When my housemate and I moved into our duplex, we had two spoons, two forks, a number of plastic flatware, and I think one butter knife. This absolutely drove me mad, so I went out and purchase a flatware set for six. It was this decision that I realized doing the dishes I made a grave mistake. When we had the few utensils we had, we were forced to be proactive and actually tend to the dishes, almost daily. With the ease of having a plethora of spoons to choose from, we no longer stayed up on doing our dishes. Abundance equates laziness. 

How does this apply to the rest of my life? In so many ways, food, clothes, knick-knacks… just so many things. Things I do not need, but want.

I realize that this is another avenue of seeking balance in my life. I have decided that I’m going to attempt to use less, starting with flatware. 

Consumerism

Annoying new trend…

What’s with this new trend of online shopping sites forcing you to log in before browsing? I want to browse, window shop, get a feel for your company. Your insistent push forcing people to log in is no different than perfume samplers at the mall forcing you to wear their noxious scents.

The whole idea behind browsing online is to be able to browse. Forcing me to log in with an email so you can spam me with a million “sale” emails is just fucking annoying and a sure fire way to lose a potential customer.

 

HUKKER

ZULILY

Beauty · Blessings · Changes · Changing · Consumerism · God · Gratitude · Greed · Happiness · Healing · Health · Love

Hello Flo.

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen!

Hear! Hear!

Finally, something more rational than sunny beaches and women running around in white short shorts!

Hello Flo! You made my day.

“The WHOLE camp started getting freaking care packages in the mail with tampons, panty liners and CANDY all perfectly aligned with their cycle.”

I had a hysterectomy five years ago.. But you know what…

Little care packages with candy in the mail timed around my “bitch” cycle sounds like a bloody brilliant idea. (pun intended)

Beauty · Consumerism · Outrage · Positivity · Self Esteem

Fat Rant Incoming….

Because Blogging isn’t going to make “change” I emailed the corporate office:

Thank you for your email. You should receive a response within 24 hours.

This is where I kindly call you out on your lies and discrimination.

I have some cute dresses purchased at Maurices. I am a size 26/28. I am learning to be proud of my body. I am learning to embrace my curves and learning it is ok to buy cute clothes in MY SIZE. I was very proud to find Maurices’ and the ability to buy some cute dresses through them. I was even more so excited to see their body positive messages on their website.

Example A: Taken directly from their website.  “Find your size, Find yourself.” That’s what I’m doing, Maurices, that’s what I’m doing.
Untitled-2

So, imagine my surprise when I went to my nearest Maurices and this on their window:

lies all lies

Sizes 1-24
“inspired by the girl in everyone, in every size.”
Maurices.

I went in and asked the sales lady, “If I am reading the sign on your window correctly, you do NOT carry any item above a size 24?” She just looked at me like a doe in headlights and said, “Well, ya.”

“Well… ya.” For a company that pushes “Body Positive Messages” Please… PLEASE explain to me why your LOCAL STORES proudly advertise that they cater to “the girl in everyone, in every size” but stop at size 24? If you carry items on your website up to 4x / 26/28, why are your stores not carrying them too?

It takes me an hour to drive to my local store. I want the same experience as “every girl, in every size!” I want to go in, try clothes on, see how they fit, line, lay, and sway. I want to spend a day “shopping.” I want that experience! Your site made me so proud to wear your clothes. My shopping experience, or lack there of, really has deterred me. I am tired of hiding inside and shopping online alone. I want to be able to see the clothing I want. I want to see how my body looks in certain items. I am short, 5’3″ with a big ass and belly. NOT ALL items will look good on me. I want the over heated dressing rooms that are smaller than a summer camp shower stalls. I want to kick my shoes off and adorn pretty things.

If you advertise on your website that you PROUDLY are for body positive and carry 26/28  4x clothing…YOUR STORES should follow suit.

Store I went to. If you’re a local gal, in a larger size, call them and demand that they carry the FULL line of clothing the advertise on their site:
THE DALLES #391 (SIZES 0-24)
1320 W. SIXTH STREET
THE DALLES, OR 97058
Tel: (541) 2985301

Beauty · Changes · Consumerism · Greed · Happiness · Health · Outrage · Positivity · Self Esteem

Brave Princess Makeover

http://now.msn.com/brave-princess-makeover-has-parents-furious

“Young girls looking for a positive role model in Pixar’s animated adventure “Brave” will soon find a much slimmer, prettier version…. She has gone under the Disney knife and has been given a skinnier waist, higher cheekbones and a liberal supply of hair conditioner, making her more Barbie than Artemis.” 

Young girls do not need to witness a make over on a character that was beautiful, strong, and great to begin with. Young girls especially do not need Disney and “Barbie” telling them that their Brave role model is now “Slimmer and prettier.” The only message  young girls will get is:

A. You need to be THIN to be pretty.
B. You need to be sexy as a pre-teen.
C. Even the wording, “Under the knife…” tells young girls that plastic surgery is the way to go. Ugh.

What the heck is wrong with companies in America? Why are we continually telling our young girls that they will NEVER be good enough unless they follow a preset standard by Hollywood, Companies and Media? We do not need strong willed heroines with skinnier waists, bigger boobs and higher cheekbones. 

Merida was beautiful to begin with, even with her frizzy unruly hair. All her attributes and idiosyncrasies are what made her HER. Why do companies have to butcher everything; from Disney to Abercrombie and Fitch. The news revolving around the “No Big Girls Club” is getting really old. 

Can’t these companies just promote self acceptance and self love?

Dove Video Here:

 

Dove got the right idea. It is amazing how we see ourselves versus how others see us. It is really hard to maintain a positive self image when you have companies like Disney, a CHILDHOOD ICONIC COMPANY, telling us that we need thinner waists, higher cheekbones and expensive conditioner.

Disney should be telling young girls that you’re perfect, just the way you are. We’re all unique. We’re all different. Some are smarter, some are blonder, some are thinner, etc. They have the opportunity ahead of them to promote self acceptance and body acceptance. They are paving the way for future eating disorders, bullying, and self hate.

Beauty · Changes · Compassion · Consumerism · Health · Outrage · Self Esteem · Suicide

Anti-Bullying Month



I just don’t see why we need one month to make “Anti-Bullying” movement. I think we need to make it a lifetime movement. If you give a kid one month to slam their senses with sound bytes, images, and stories of the anti-bullying message, come the next month it will be replaced by other sensory overloads. This is usually replaced with memes on facebook and the internet, video games, and peer pressure.

Think about this. According to UK Health Behaviore Research Centre, “…research found it took 66 days to form a habit.” October has 31 days, that’s half the amount of time needed to help form a positive, anti-bullying, stance in life. We, not only as parents but as mentors, need to be preaching an anti-bullying message from jump.

In the news over the last week, two important stories have hit the airwaves. First, we have a young girl, Whitney Kropp from Michigan, who was picked to be apart of the Homecoming Court as a prank.
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/10/01/14168666-teen-picked-for-homecoming-court-as-prank-shines-at-ceremony

She talks briefly about when she first heard of it, she thought suicide. She was the brunt of everyone’s joke. But with love and support from her family, she continued on with the Homecoming Court. She has been picked on for her height, how her hair looks, how she dresses.. She was mortified when she was announced, and her fellow classmates pointed and laughed at her. In the end, she said she would prevail, and she did with diplomacy and class.

What bothers me is that there is no mention to what happened to the kids that picked her as a prank. In a month of  “Anti-Bullying Allowed,” I do not see where an reprimand as an example has taken place. I think that it is wonderful the community stepped up and showed her support. In the end, she stayed classy and dignified.  A lesson can be learned from her approach to the prank.

A facebook page was created under her name to support the Anti-Bullying movement; Support Whitney Kropp. Even members from the opposing football team showed up in shirts that supported Whitney. Before the game, a local company even made T-shirts in support of Kropp in her favorite color, orange, adding to the messages of encouragement that Kropp says helped her prevail.  At the end, her words are what makes this story phenomenal, “

“The kids that are bullying you do not let them bring you down. Stand up for what you believe in, and go with your heart and go with your gut. That’s what I did and look at me now. I’m just as happy as can be.”

It’s wonderful to see a community come together like this. But, when the stardust falls and is swept away with the end of October like an Autumn breeze, and snow has crept in covering the ground once again, will the community go back to the hurtful chill it had before the television cameras were there? 


Second, a news anchor out of La Cross, Wisconsin, addresses her weight on air.

“News Anchor Responds to “bully’s” Letter about Weight

This woman is  news anchor, in the eye of the public, out there for everybody to see. She is very aware of her size, how could she not be? I think one of the most inept things fat ignorant people have is their blatant need to point out “You’re fat!” Really, I didn’t know that, I think my mirror is broken. It disgusts me that it’s one of the last open discriminatory actions out there. It’s perfectly o-k  to pick on people about their weight; it’s so o-k there are millions of websites dedicated to it. There are radio deejays that comments on it all the time.

She handled the attack with class, just as the young lady in the news clip above. She talks about the support of her husband, who addressed the letter writer on his facebook page. I think the strongest things she said was, “Do not let your self worth be defined by the bullies.”


Kids are cruel, and our schools are breeding grounds for this cruelty. But to sum it up in one month of  “no bullying” just doesn’t pan out well for me. These kids are aggressive and obnoxious with their hate, bigotry and attacks. There are not enough positive role models out there to keep the message in their face as much as needed. However, just the opposite is true. There are a lot of shock-jock deejays, movies that promote hate, and television shows that promote hate. It’s not all the media’s fault, however, it comes down to adults who influence our children on a daily basis. Where are the parents? Where are the teachers… oh wait, the teachers are only following a “October Anti-Bullying” curriculum. 


They wouldn’t be obnoxious if there weren’t Adam Carollas out there as role models. They wouldn’t be insensitive if there weren’t Tosh.O role models. These individuals help shape our youth, especially in the day and age of the internet and free speech. It comes down to our need to promote this more than just one month out of every year. It takes 66 days to form a habit, both good and bad. According to various psychological websites, it takes It can take about 3-6 months to break a habit. It takes twice as long to break a bad habit as it does to form it. One month of positive “Anti-Bullying” methods is not enough to drill into the stubborn youth of today that bullying and hurting people is not right.

From the moment our kids can walk, talk and understand, is the very moment we need to push positivity. Every Day of their Precious Lives!

Other blogs that are mentioning this as well:
Life in Pint Sized Form
The Natural54
Smackiland and Beyond

. Writing . · Beauty · Belief · Buddha · Changes · Changing · Compassion · Consumerism · Employment · Faith · Friends · Friendship · God · Gratitude · Happiness · Healing · Health · Hope · Hug · Journey · Lay off · Love · Positivity · Self Esteem · Spirit · Unemployed

Growth.. a little at a time.

Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. ~ Karen Horney 

I woke up early this morning with the words of my sister replaying over and over. “I’ve always thought of you as tough and your ability to bounce back. And wanted to have that ability. You have taken every weakness and turned it into something powerful. Every hurt and hit and turned it into something miraculous. And you WILL get through this bump.”

Amazing it takes someone that we really don’t ever talk to much to point out the very things about you that you have forgotten. I’ve been thinking about what she said for a day now, and they’ve weighed heavy on me. I’ll be damned if I let this heaviness win. I took that stubborn bullish side of me, and set out to make a change this morning.

I woke up, went pee. I put coffee on, and let it brew while I took the dog out so she too could pee.  I made a cup of coffee, grabbed a pop tart, and sat down at my computer. I logged into Highline Community College’s website and looked through their degree program guide. I started my FASFA application. I will go back to school. 

Small steps, are steps none the less. Small steps will turn into a domino effects. I just need to sit down with someone and decide what I want to do. Here are my interests, needs and desires:

 I need something that will be creative and challenging enough to keep me intrigued, entertained and going.

I want something that pushes me, challenges me, and teaches me new things daily.

I like
Photography, Writing, Journalism, Graphic Design, Marketing Designs (brochures, pamphlets, invitations, wine labels, etc.)
I also like social media – forums, postings, article writing, etc. 

Now to find something that will incorporate all of those. 

Changes · Changing · Consumerism · Employment · Happiness · My Life · Self Esteem · Working

Pulling it together..

I know that I have been somewhat absent, all is well I promise. I have been preparing for staring my job next week. YAY.. nervous, but YAY none the less. I had to find a way to help ease moving into a new job, so… shopping we go! I took my avenue card and headed over to the online store. Nothing like cute new clothes to boost your esteem. I think the outfit below is nicely pulled together. 🙂

This Sheer Cardigan:

This tank top but in white

This shirt but in White

 

 

Cute Pants
  • Black (not brown like shown) Boots
  •