Body Positive · Changes · Changing · Consumerism · Greed · Health · Hope · Negative People · Outrage · Politics · Positivity · Self Acceptance · Self Esteem · Self Love · Suicide · Youth

. Content of Your Soul .

I watched the video/commercial. I am stating my opinion, which may be biased as a woman, but here we go. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this commercial.
If anything, I find it empowering, for BOTH men and women.
If anything, I find it validating, for BOTH men and women.
If you’re a man who is finding issue with a commercial or company promoting respect, then the issue is not with the content of the commercial, but the content of your soul.

We are in the midst of an awakening within our society. People, men and women alike,  are beginning to hold each other accountable for unacceptable behaviors.

Women no longer need to remain tight lipped with grace over inappropriate behaviors, comments, or actions towards them or their bodies.

Women no longer need to, “smile and giggle” when there’s an unwanted ass grab. 

Women no longer need to accept unsolicited dick pics in private message while active on social media.

Men no longer need to remain “tough” and carry the persona of “strength” when bullied, belittled, or mocked for showing emotion.

Men no longer have to hide their “less than masculine” hobbies or interests. I have male friends who find that over the last 10-20 years, aspects of their “male persona” have changed. “I used to be uncomfortable with my wife’s purse in our cart. Now, I just don’t care.”

Men are even allowed to show support in one another without it looking, “Gay”.

If toxic masculinity is, as Piers Morgan says, “… pathetic global assault on masculinity,” then why is it even a hot topic? What I am finding is that men who are offended, protesting, and boycotting like Piers Morgan, are avoiding the question of whether or not they’re actually guilty of these very behaviors.” (compiled with the fact that a lot of them I’m reading on social media haven’t actually WATCHED the video). Don’t come at me with your defensiveness if you haven’t fully educated yourself on the topic at hand.

Just to be clear, Gillette’s ad does not implicate all men as those who act in this manner. This ad promotes that all men should hold each other accountable by calling out the behaviors.

This is not attacking “all” men for this behavior, it’s attacking the behavior itself. If those seeing this as an attack on “all men’s” masculinity, then it’s not the commercial with the issue, it’s your perception of masculinity that is.

“The gender doth protest too much,  me thinks. “

Maybe it’s time to actually discuss and define, “Toxic Masculinity”? What I have found researching the new coined term, “…a manifestation of Patriarchy that both harms men, and causes men to be violent and aggressive against women and occasionally other men.”

Personally, for me, it is when we even need to call out “boys will be boys” mentality. It’s when we tell girls that, “…it means he likes you if he pulls your hair”, as opposed to teaching our sons that pulling hair is not way to express your crush on a person.

Or, the doxxing of female game programers, artists, geeks, nerds, cosplayers, and activists who fight against the men who feel women have no place in the gaming cyber geek world.

Women, such as Brianna Wu, had all of their personal information released online opening avenues of abuse from men worldwide. “One tweet said, “I’ve got a K-bar and I’m coming to your house so I can shove it up your ugly feminist cunt.”

If you do not see an issue with this, then the problem isn’t Gillette, again, it’s you and your belief systems.

Another example of abuse because of gender and nationality, Kelly Marie tran. Who had this to say when she penned a beautiful statement as to why she’s leaving social media. She was mocked and harassed for everything from gender to weight, from role to ethnicity. The attackers took open hunt on her instagram and even her woookiepedia page.

Their words seemed to confirm what growing up as a woman and a person of color already taught me: that I belonged in margins and spaces, valid only as a minor character in their lives and stories,” Tran wrote. “Their words reinforced a narrative I had heard my whole life: that I was “other,” that I didn’t belong, that I wasn’t good enough, simply because I wasn’t like them. And that feeling, I realize now, was, and is, shame, a shame for the things that made me different, a shame for the culture from which I came from. And to me, the most disappointing thing was that I felt it at all.”

Or, how schools push and shame their preteen to teen girls about their clothing, as opposed to teaching boys to respect women and their bodies, and then punish them for wearing shorts and tank tops in 102 degree weather.

Our daughters are raised with vile, sexually charged advertising in EVERYTHING, but then shamed if they immulate the very examples they’re taught. Toxic masculinity is defending and promoting advertisers like Abercrombie & Fitch or Carl’s Jr, who make a point of objectifying women, and encouraging the behaviors behind it. There’s even a study that shows men and women (BOTH) are affected mentally by these types of advertisers. (Sited Resource) This study has found that sexualized advertisements could have a negative effect on men as well as women .

Final example of toxic masculinity, in my eyes, are the sheer number of sexual violence and assaults that do not get reported. Why? Because women aren’t taken serious when they say they are victims.

Do you know how many rape kits have sat unopened, unexamined, untested? In my state, Washington State, according to a 2018 statewide inventory conducted by the Attorney General’s Office, 6,460 backlogged. If that’s just one state, imagine the numbers for our whole nation. It doesn’t help when certain celebrities promote these ideals

If toxic masculinity isn’t a thing, there wouldn’t be NUMEROUS social media pages dedicated to showing that women are property/meat, and men deserve all of it no questions asked….
Because, as Piers Morgan says, “Let boys be damn boys. Let men be damn men. Sexually harasses coanchor.

More sources:
Women Women Refuse


Addressing Gender-Based Harassment in Social Media: A Call to Action
Rachel N. Simons, The University of Texas at Austin

End the Backlog – Accountability Project by Joyful Heart Foundation

Justice and Research Statistics Association

#Gillette #MeToo #Empowerment #Toxicmasculinity
Journey · My Life · Outrage · Politics · Self Esteem · Spirit · Working

Debate Thoughts

We are 9 million jobs short of that because JOBS ARE OVER SEAS! And again.. there is a reason I am working FOUR JOBS to make ends meet. FOUR EFFIN JOBS FOLKS.

We need jobs here, in our country, that are full time and benefit provided

I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I work just about 7 days a week. I’m very thankful for my day off here and there. But, on my day off I’m cooking, cleaning, organizing and getting ready for the weeks of work ahead. 

I don’t sleep because I’m financially stressed and lay awake at night, when I should be resting, thinking about making shit work.

I am on food assistance, Mr. Romney. Fuck you (Ya, I Eff Bombed) for your judgement of people using food assistance. If I didn’t have it, in spite of my four jobs, I’d struggle even further. The “American Dream” is no longer. It’s about scavenging, surviving and fighting daily.

I am tired of fighting. I am tired of working to make ends meet. I don’t even work to save for my retirement. I don’t even make enough to help my son go on his band trip.

Sure, I have a partner I love with who is working just as hard. But, even then, with our funds pooled together, it’s hard. And I’m tired.

Changes · Changing · Politics

My only political rant.



This is probably going to be my only blog on politics. The only reason I feel compelled to write one, is because of a conversation with my Aunt a few days ago.

“Your grandmother’s generation were used to blindly following the government, because the government knew was was best for them. They never lied, it’s their government. Our generation, we were the first to really start questioning our government, but there wasn’t much we could do… but question. Your generation, is going to be the change. Not only do you question the government, but you hold them to it. You have platforms we never even fathomed of having; social media, internet, etc.”

My aunt said this to me the other night, and it’s been playing out in my mind for a few days now. She’s right, you know, we possibly could be the generation that changes it. But will we? 

I see a lot, and I mean A LOT, of posts on Facebook that are politically based. I also see so many more of my friends who post about, “Stop posting political posts…” But think about it, it’s absolutely imperative that we do. We’re questioning things that are being stated in debates, in the media, etc. I would rather have the ability to see certain things that my friends are questioning, go investigate it myself, and form my own opinion. All the generations prior to ours had were word of mouth and Media; as in television. 

The media are really slanted on who’s the monetary backing.

Our friends, the only slant they have are on what is in their best interest. They’re not getting paid by political parties to sway one way or the other. They’re posting their feelings. If something is heating you up, pissing you off, and you feel compelled to post or share it, that means it’s important to investigate and research. 

I want what’s best for me. I want to know someone is going to have my back when I am older. We have the opportunity to really scrutinize the message that is being fed to us; whether you opt to bite and go blindly, is your choice. Our generation has the opportunity to get out there, question, define and change the way we do things.

I personally think we need to get rid of the two party system, they’re killing us. They DO NOT have our best interests at heart. They have their own only. I need someone who’s going to make a change, a serious change. A two party system spends more time cockblocking each other, than they do helping Americans. 

I work four jobs, people, FOUR jobs. This is just to make ends me, and they don’t even do that. I don’t have health insurance, and through recent plans enacted, I STILL can’t afford it…. even with four jobs. Am I whining, maybe a little. But what I’m really getting at is that … I need to be able to take care of myself, so my son doesn’t have to worry about that when he’s older and I’m aged to the point of needing further care than I can give myself. 

I want jobs in America… REAL HARD WORKING JOBS. I want to be able to contribute fully to my life, and not count pennies because I can’t pay this bill, or put gas in my car, etc. I want to see changes made to how we think we’re “Green..” but really not utilizing being Green fully. I want to see tax breaks for small businesses, and I want to see conglomerate asshole bankers held accountable. 

I want to see programming like PBS alive and living well, while programs like politically slanted media be held accountable. We need to readdress our “Freedom of Speech” and actually hold people to a higher, respectful standard. We’re breeding ignorance in our television. There is a reason we have opted not to have television in our home. I don’t want to be force fed bullshit, without a choice of questioning and researching. That’s all media is.. force fed bullshit. PBS has standards they have to live up to; because it’s funded by the public, for the public.

There are posts going around the internet about, “Democrats only want to save Big Bird..” Is that really all it is? It’s not just about Big Bird, go to Why Save PBS and read the statistics.

We can’t expect one person to make a change in 4 years with the mess he’s inherited. We cannot expect a person to make a change after 8 years of conditioning in their life that has lead them in a negative way. Change takes time and patience. This is why a lot of people fail on resolutions, they give up.

Get out there and vote, seriously. Vote for what’s going to be better for us. Whatever YOU FEEL that may be, after researching, questioning, etc. Just, make the effort to pull your head out of the sand and actually participate. Don’t bitch, and do nothing about it.

These are my rambling thoughts.

For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them. – Sir Thomas More (Saint)