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. Content of Your Soul .

I watched the video/commercial. I am stating my opinion, which may be biased as a woman, but here we go. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this commercial.
 
If anything, I find it empowering, for BOTH men and women.
 
If anything, I find it validating, for BOTH men and women.
 
If you’re a man who is finding issue with a commercial or company promoting respect, then the issue is not with the content of the commercial, but the content of your soul.

We are in the midst of an awakening within our society. People, men and women alike,  are beginning to hold each other accountable for unacceptable behaviors.

Women no longer need to remain tight lipped with grace over inappropriate behaviors, comments, or actions towards them or their bodies.

Women no longer need to, “smile and giggle” when there’s an unwanted ass grab. 

Women no longer need to accept unsolicited dick pics in private message while active on social media.

Men no longer need to remain “tough” and carry the persona of “strength” when bullied, belittled, or mocked for showing emotion.

Men no longer have to hide their “less than masculine” hobbies or interests. I have male friends who find that over the last 10-20 years, aspects of their “male persona” have changed. “I used to be uncomfortable with my wife’s purse in our cart. Now, I just don’t care.”

Men are even allowed to show support in one another without it looking, “Gay”.

If toxic masculinity is, as Piers Morgan says, “… pathetic global assault on masculinity,” then why is it even a hot topic? What I am finding is that men who are offended, protesting, and boycotting like Piers Morgan, are avoiding the question of whether or not they’re actually guilty of these very behaviors.” (compiled with the fact that a lot of them I’m reading on social media haven’t actually WATCHED the video). Don’t come at me with your defensiveness if you haven’t fully educated yourself on the topic at hand.

Just to be clear, Gillette’s ad does not implicate all men as those who act in this manner. This ad promotes that all men should hold each other accountable by calling out the behaviors.

This is not attacking “all” men for this behavior, it’s attacking the behavior itself. If those seeing this as an attack on “all men’s” masculinity, then it’s not the commercial with the issue, it’s your perception of masculinity that is.

“The gender doth protest too much,  me thinks. “

Maybe it’s time to actually discuss and define, “Toxic Masculinity”? What I have found researching the new coined term, “…a manifestation of Patriarchy that both harms men, and causes men to be violent and aggressive against women and occasionally other men.”

Personally, for me, it is when we even need to call out “boys will be boys” mentality. It’s when we tell girls that, “…it means he likes you if he pulls your hair”, as opposed to teaching our sons that pulling hair is not way to express your crush on a person.

Or, the doxxing of female game programers, artists, geeks, nerds, cosplayers, and activists who fight against the men who feel women have no place in the gaming cyber geek world.

Women, such as Brianna Wu, had all of their personal information released online opening avenues of abuse from men worldwide. “One tweet said, “I’ve got a K-bar and I’m coming to your house so I can shove it up your ugly feminist cunt.”

If you do not see an issue with this, then the problem isn’t Gillette, again, it’s you and your belief systems.

Another example of abuse because of gender and nationality, Kelly Marie tran. Who had this to say when she penned a beautiful statement as to why she’s leaving social media. She was mocked and harassed for everything from gender to weight, from role to ethnicity. The attackers took open hunt on her instagram and even her woookiepedia page.

Their words seemed to confirm what growing up as a woman and a person of color already taught me: that I belonged in margins and spaces, valid only as a minor character in their lives and stories,” Tran wrote. “Their words reinforced a narrative I had heard my whole life: that I was “other,” that I didn’t belong, that I wasn’t good enough, simply because I wasn’t like them. And that feeling, I realize now, was, and is, shame, a shame for the things that made me different, a shame for the culture from which I came from. And to me, the most disappointing thing was that I felt it at all.”

Or, how schools push and shame their preteen to teen girls about their clothing, as opposed to teaching boys to respect women and their bodies, and then punish them for wearing shorts and tank tops in 102 degree weather.

Our daughters are raised with vile, sexually charged advertising in EVERYTHING, but then shamed if they immulate the very examples they’re taught. Toxic masculinity is defending and promoting advertisers like Abercrombie & Fitch or Carl’s Jr, who make a point of objectifying women, and encouraging the behaviors behind it. There’s even a study that shows men and women (BOTH) are affected mentally by these types of advertisers. (Sited Resource) This study has found that sexualized advertisements could have a negative effect on men as well as women .

Final example of toxic masculinity, in my eyes, are the sheer number of sexual violence and assaults that do not get reported. Why? Because women aren’t taken serious when they say they are victims.

Do you know how many rape kits have sat unopened, unexamined, untested? In my state, Washington State, according to a 2018 statewide inventory conducted by the Attorney General’s Office, 6,460 backlogged. If that’s just one state, imagine the numbers for our whole nation. It doesn’t help when certain celebrities promote these ideals

If toxic masculinity isn’t a thing, there wouldn’t be NUMEROUS social media pages dedicated to showing that women are property/meat, and men deserve all of it no questions asked….
Because, as Piers Morgan says, “Let boys be damn boys. Let men be damn men. Sexually harasses coanchor.

More sources:
Women Women Refuse

#MeToo

Addressing Gender-Based Harassment in Social Media: A Call to Action
Rachel N. Simons, The University of Texas at Austin

End the Backlog – Accountability Project by Joyful Heart Foundation

Justice and Research Statistics Association

#Gillette #MeToo #Empowerment #Toxicmasculinity
Blessings · Changes · Changing · God · Gratitude · Happiness · Healing · Hope · Hug · Jesus · Journey · Love · Music · My Life · Positivity · Self Esteem · Spirit · Youth

A Mother’s Pride:

Mother’s Pride, for me today, is sitting in my room while my son is in the other room practicing his tuba. What is the song that he is practicing? Misty Mountain Cold from The Hobbit soundtrack. 

My housemate’s son is practicing on his Cello. 

It’s broken and in the process of being learned, but fuck if my house doesn’t rock right now. I literally am sitting her swollen with pride that’s escaping my body in small little goose flesh all over; little mounds of mother’s pride.
This, is just pure awesome. This is my gratitude for the day. I cannot express how happy I am now that my son is home. I love my Saturday being filled with the sounds of his instrument(s). 

 

 

Beauty · Belief · Changes · Changing · Friendship · Happiness · Journey · My Life · Self Esteem · Spirit · Youth

Reckless writer and adventurer extraordinaire.

Grunge_girl_by_palmations

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” – Danielle LaPort

Ouch. I read this on a blog/tumbler that I follow daily: Body Positive Zone and began really thinking about this question, statement.
I can remember who I thought I was before the world told me who I should be, I’m not entirely sure if that is truly who I was.

Rebel. Midst of the grunge era. Flannels, Combat boots, Holey jeans, T-shirts. I thought I knew everything. I was creative and driven my the wild thoughts the soared through my veins. I had a keen wit and a sharp tongue.

I just KNEW  I would be come somebody.  I knew I would be something better than my environment.

I was a writer. I had more stories building a life inside my head than I did outside. I was passionate about a lot of things. My friends, music, books, opinions. I’d go to hell and back for a friend. I was the odd girl, the loser, the one bullied… but I didn’t care. 

I care more now as an adult than I did then. The world told me to conform, the world first being my mother. “Conform just a little Regan, you have to conform just a little to survive.”  

I am not even a shadow or reflection of who I used to be. Twenty years have past and I reflect back at the awesomeness I was. If I knew then what I know now about myself, I’d turn the world upside down. But I didn’t turn the world, I didn’t even quake it. I conformed. All because my world, my mother, told me to be something else. Something benefiting to her.

I am now meek. I cannot make or keep friends. I cannot empower myself long enough to stand up for myself. I was a rock star, I am now only a faint glimmering speck of dust in the atmosphere.