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In the dust..

“Others may be surprised by your choices. They may even react strongly to them. Do not allow this to stop you. Send those individuals loving energy and continue on letting your Heart direct the way.”

I have been contemplating a lot over my healing and growth through counseling. I have fretted about the path I am now following, and those I’m leaving behind. I needed to read this quote today. I don’t want to hurt anyone, that’s always been the healing stopper for me. I’m afraid to hurt others. I know what it’s like to be hurt, damaged, saddened, etc; and rationally I know that I have done this to others, just not intentionally.

I am making new choices, ones that are healthy for me; a lot healthier than choices I’ve made in the past. But, I am also noticing that as I change, those closest to me in my life aren’t changing as well. Just that mere realization alone has me almost terrified to continue with my inner healing process. It feels almost like a road block, and I’m unsure how to work through it and continue this path.

I love my husband dearly, but lately it’s becoming more of a friendship love. I just don’t see him moving side by side with me. He’s even made mention that, “I am afraid you’re going to lose this weight, get your mind healthy, and change enough to leave me.”

I don’t want to feel guilty for positive changes in my life; and thus not change. I don’t want to be made to feel guilty either. I don’t know what to do. I feel stagnant and confused.