My Life

Genetic Compassion

It is lack of love for ourselves that inhibits our compassion toward others. If we make friends with ourselves, then there is no obstacle to opening our hearts and minds to others.

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My Life

This is the song that never ends…

Without music life would be a mistake.  ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Music, oh how I love it. No matter what mood I am in, I can always find some song, some genre, some beautiful melody married to words that strike deep within the heart. I love music. I wish I was encouraged more during childhood to pursue my violin even further. I have always been drawn to instruments and poems. There is something magical about the two entwined together.

I always think about the soundtrack to my life. What song is appropriate for which scenario. I am at a loss trying to figure out these quizzes; there are so many great songs out there. If you catch me at any given moment, I will be humming a song to myself, singing, dancing, etc. We are really a blessed culture to be privy to music.

What song is running through your head?

For me, Maybe by Ingrid Michaelson.

Today, I am thankful for music, artists who create the sounds that fill my day,
and the feelings it fills me with.

My Life

Turning in early
it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in those things, and still be calm in
your heart.

I love days where things just fall into place. I love days where the house is calm, the dogs are calm, and I can hear the rain outside. I love being able to take in as much as life can give, and turn in early to dream about more.

Today, I am thankful for peace, calm and meditations.

My Life

This little light of mine….
This has been the most reviewed and read blog entry of mine.
I just want to thank those that stumble on it, read it, and more.
Feel free to comment, let me know you’ve been here.


“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” ~ Marianne Williamson

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine;

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!
~written by unknown (gospel song)

Continue reading “This little light of mine….”

My Life

Short thanks, but gratitude none the less

It’s again late, and  can hear the house settling around the family sleeping; pulling me into a haze of slumber. Tonight is going to be a quick thought of gratitude, I promise more tomorrow.

Today, I am thankful for single dose instant coffees. I have broken the “no caffeine” rule, but drastically dropped down from a triple/quad shot creme’ de menthe mocha, tall, every morning to a single cup of joe’. I am grateful for the ability to ween down, cut back and stick to these changes.

My Life

Mourning Sunshine

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~ Anatole France

Self Acceptance is an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate and support who you are right now, even those parts you’d like to change.Look at yourself in the mirror.  Take a moment to love and accept the person you see looking back at you. –

Going through change has me pondering life and what is to come. We leave behind us what we want to purge from our lives, and open doors in front of us hoping for better. Our lives, and the process of change, brings about a sense of mourning. The goal is not to get trapped in a cycle where we revert back into what we tried so hard to let go.

I have found that I am a person who hangs on, rather tightly. I think I am afraid of change… that ominous unknown. I fear that I am afraid. I know what I need to change, I have recognized the negativity within me, but the real “act” of change has me bewildered. When I started this project mid January, I only thought about what I am thankful for just prior to my writing it out. Now, I find myself thinking about it all day long. Now, I find myself waiting for reasons to be thankful. It’s almost like a scavenger hunt in positivity.

I have been told that this wasn’t going to be an easy project, and I can agree. I have been told that there will be days when I can only find mundane to be thankful for, but to push forward none the less. Today, definitely is not one of those days. I have been in deep thought, deep conversation and feeling very comfortable with who I am at this moment; tomorrow however, the story line may change.

Today, I am thankful for simple moments of self acceptance.

My Life

Heartache..or Heart Attack..

Today is a day to be thankful for being filled with life, and not in a proverbial sense. I woke up, and I am thankful I did.

I went to bed with chest pain, neck pain, arm pain, pressure on my chest and shortness of breath. I took a couple asprin and crawled into bed. I awoke with a start, thanks to our roommate’s mother, and found that I had a bloody nose. The chest pain was still there, shortness of breath, and generalized pain in arm and jaw. I panicked, and the more I panicked the more the pain persisted. I finally got dressed and had my husband take me to the ER.

Blood drawn, BP taken, xrays of the chest, urine samples, observation, and EKG. Sitting there watching nurses come and go, technicians poke and prod, and hours to think of “what if..”, I came to the conclusion a lot in my life needs to change. The only way my external will change is if I change my internal as well. I have to be at a moment of true “want” to manifest what needs to be. I had a similar experience a few years ago and it turned out to be anxiety. I am not a smoker, I very rarely drink, and no street drugs. Today’s doctor said outlook is good. My tests all came back on the positive side and she was releasing me. She encouraged me to find a way to release stress and anxiety, and possibly seek a counselor.

That whole time I thought about what was the cause of my anxiety, and there’s ample reasons as of late. I broke down and cried. I told my husband that I may put on a strong act, but inside I really am angry and hurting over being treated in the manner I had by my previous friends. It does hurt, no matter how you look at it. I have a tendency to internalize and make everyone believe “im ok.” I’m not, and this “heart scare” is proof of it.

So today, I am thankful for life. I am thankful for living. I am thankful for being here.