It is lack of love for ourselves that inhibits our compassion toward others. If we make friends with ourselves, then there is no obstacle to opening our hearts and minds to others.
It’s again late, and can hear the house settling around the family sleeping; pulling me into a haze of slumber. Tonight is going to be a quick thought of gratitude, I promise more tomorrow.
Today, I am thankful for single dose instant coffees. I have broken the “no caffeine” rule, but drastically dropped down from a triple/quad shot creme’ de menthe mocha, tall, every morning to a single cup of joe’. I am grateful for the ability to ween down, cut back and stick to these changes.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~ Anatole France
|Self Acceptance is an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate and support who you are right now, even those parts you’d like to change.Look at yourself in the mirror. Take a moment to love and accept the person you see looking back at you. – www.innerspace.org.uk|
Going through change has me pondering life and what is to come. We leave behind us what we want to purge from our lives, and open doors in front of us hoping for better. Our lives, and the process of change, brings about a sense of mourning. The goal is not to get trapped in a cycle where we revert back into what we tried so hard to let go.
I have found that I am a person who hangs on, rather tightly. I think I am afraid of change… that ominous unknown. I fear that I am afraid. I know what I need to change, I have recognized the negativity within me, but the real “act” of change has me bewildered. When I started this project mid January, I only thought about what I am thankful for just prior to my writing it out. Now, I find myself thinking about it all day long. Now, I find myself waiting for reasons to be thankful. It’s almost like a scavenger hunt in positivity.
I have been told that this wasn’t going to be an easy project, and I can agree. I have been told that there will be days when I can only find mundane to be thankful for, but to push forward none the less. Today, definitely is not one of those days. I have been in deep thought, deep conversation and feeling very comfortable with who I am at this moment; tomorrow however, the story line may change.
Today, I am thankful for simple moments of self acceptance.
One of the orders I received from the emergency room was “no caffeine.” I am a woman who lives and thrives off of coffee. I mean, it’s the blood in my veins, it’s my existance, it is liquid sunshine. Today, is day one, and today has been consistant thoughts of the nectar of the Gods. I also changed a few of my eating essentials. I have purchased oat bread, turkey bacon, and will be increasing greens.
Today, my focus on gratitude is toward second chances. My scare I consider a wake up call and a second chance at life. Analyzing my anxiety and trying to find the root of it, a lot came to be from the whole friendship scenario I am hung up on. So today, in an act of positivity, I sent a friends request to the one I hurt the most over. After a few emails back and forth, the act of reaching out was accepted.
I am not looking to be that “bestie” again, I am looking to move forward as the adults we both are. I need closure… if anything to assist in working on my trust, ability to believe in others, and friendship again.
Today, I am thankful for second chances.